Please. Make. It. Stop.
It is just after 2 am. I am on my knees in front of the toilet, dry heaving the living daylights out of my body. Again. I lost count of how many times my nausea had me running today. This cannot be normal? So I grab my phone and literally punch in “Can you die of vomiting?”. Of course Google says yes.
I am in a constant state of either clenching my jaw to fight off the nausea or curling into the fetal position on my couch and sleeping it off. At 7 weeks we go to the gynae for our first check up and there on the sonar screen is a single (thank goodness) blip of about 1 cm. All is apparently well with the blip and me (although I would barely call 24/7 nausea a state of wellbeing).
Talking to the gynae about the nausea he gives me the feedback that the nausea is caused by the amount of serotonin my body is releasing. So my “happy hormone” is making me so happy, I want to throw up all the time. But wait, there is more from the good doctor….”yes, the first 12 weeks are quite tough, you just need to push through. As soon as you start dehydrating and losing fluids then we can look at giving you something for the nausea”. Supporter no. 1 is gripping my leg to keep me sitting, because I am about to leap over the desk and throttle the man. So basically I have to suck it up for another 6 weeks. That is 42 days of dry heaving by the way.
This is a lot like standing on the beach before the start gun goes off for a triathlon. I am excited and nervous all rolled into one. The same thoughts go through my head (What were you thinking? This was a stupid idea? You can’t do this! What if you fail? You should have gone to the bathroom again). I wanted to do the race (pregnancy) so I have to get my ass in the water and start swimming. Take it one buoy (day) at a time. Take a breather if I need to, vomit when I have to, rest a minute, get my mind set right and GO. There is a cut-off time for everything, whether it is 2 hours and 10 min or 12 weeks, it won’t last forever (We can only hope). It is too late to back out now, but I am on my way to the next trimester, which they say is the best of all three and I am hoping it is my strong point, just like the bike discipline…right?